STANDING IN MY OWN WAY
Ever sit and realize you are standing in your own way? In the way happiness love success and all that other shit? I am guilty of doing that when something is going right i try to find flaws or "signs" of something bout to go wrong.
I have the sweetest man in my life and my silly ass be so mean sometimes i have to check myself. he caters to every need i have he cooks, cleans, helps my kids with homework, chills with my son and makes sure I'm good. he is everything i want in a man and I'm sure one day he will grow tired of my moodiness and walk away....10 months and counting, so far so good he still around. i think i appreciate him more because of the bullshit ass men I've dealt with in the past. one who from 3,000 miles away was trying to be my man and several other ladies and thought i would fall for the woo woo. naw playa...u got the game messed up. enough talking bout him...did y'all know i was technically engaged but we decided lets hold off til we both get things straightened out. love is such a stumbling block for most of us and i hope i can step aside and bring the walls down so i can have a future with him.
going back to school brings all kind of worries to my Lil head besides the time i don't have. besides working full time and being mommy full-time. i don't see me fitting it in. I'm in the wrong place i need to be a nurse. i feel like I'm stuck being a medical assistant and nursing is in my blood. i will go forward and struggle to see my dreams hell i can go anywhere but up.
just pray for me to stop procrastinating...its my down fall believe me.
I'm just blogging to relieve my thoughts I'm sure ill be adding more to this.. but a doctor with dragon breath is behind me talking loud and his breath is clogging my nostrils.... thanks for reading.
*more*
funny how ya past haunts you and makes you second guess everything everyone does like noone in yourlife can do right by you. so you folks out here ruining lives and breaking hearts just blame yourself for puttin doubt into those you say you love hearts. i am so pissed at myself for not letting things go... sooner im messing up bigtime cause of it just waitng for someone to fucc me over and i shouldnt. life will be greater for me later i just gotta get out of my own way.
Comments
Sometimes even exceptionally nice people fall into the trap of "baggage"; and we both know that all "baggage" isn't carry on. Don't allow a past relationship to deny you of the happiness that you deserve today.
The nurse is gonna come out whether you like it or not. Just like the poet in you can't resist words...the nurse in you won't settle for less than being a true nurturer. you can do that, too. :)