shall i feel abandoned?
they say uh find out who is really down for u when u going through some real shit. i don't think i prepared for that statement to be brought to light. i spent my whole life shying away from getting close to people for those very reasons. i have had an eye opening week and a half. spent five day in a hospital waiting for my Dr to tell me if i was having surgery. i was positive and diligently doing what i was told and waiting for the antibiotics to do their thing. i have been humbled by what my co-workers my family and online friends have been showering me with prayers calls texts and just true blue love. i truly am thankful. i have a ways to go this will be with me for a while. i was scared in pain not sure what was wrong with me. I'm very strong very much an independent woman so asking for help is unusual for me. i really had a decent stay in the hospital but i had my moment of depression cause it seems like some shit is always happening to me and u get tired of setbacks. it also hurt me to know someone who i held near and dear couldn't take a few minutes out of their time to come see about me call text nothing that pierced like knife cause anytime that person was going through it i made myself available for a cry a hug or a laugh. that hurt cause it showed there was a limit that she would go to show her concern and that was my que to let the friendship die. I've never had many "friends" and for reasons such as this. lemme tell u ppl if u really care about someone u will got though the storm for them nothing will keep them from you but death not selfishness. I've lost many I've trusted in few but now i turn my focus to those who really matter. ill miss all the great times laughs cries but i gotta focus on me now. I've been called name whispered about and just plain snubbed because of my association and i get showed someones ass for my dedication. its all good i know theres greater things coming my way. ill pray ill think about her and her babies a lot but i will stick to my first mind and keep it moving. hope i didn't type your ears off its been bothering me for a minute.