Randomly spillin ish

So the blog-a- day is over and I really enjoyed it I only did 15 but I did something. The month of October was a busy one for me. Packing and searching and stressing consumed me. My workday is nonstop and my only break is lunch. I had to make time for me, my kids, packing looking for spots, and fighting sleepless nights, and stomach pain. I'm thankful I found a place got some peace of mind in regards to shelter.

I'm sure I have more hurdles to get over but I'm taking the good news way over the bad. My kids are happy to be getting out this hell hole so they can have their own rooms again. They are the reason I do everything right now. Its not about me and what I want. I'm so focused on the future right now, I don't wanna be bothered with anyone who don't want to take it to the next level. I'm really interested in not falling into another rabbit hole anytime soon.

Emotionally I'm very tired...tired of putting on a happy face when I'm really disappointed. I've been holding things down with minimum help and have yet to get the support I feel shouldn't have to be spoken. I'm frustrated cause my whole year kinda went in the toilet. Today I'm liable to go off on someone just for coming at me sidewayz. Yeah its that deep. I'm a walking PMS bomb and I'm not "on the rag" as they say. Just fed up.

Physically I'm cool except for these episodes of heartburn, spontaneous weight gain/ water retention
I'm starting to think I might be preggers but my tubes been tied for 10yrs. Ill just wish it away I don't think I can start over with a new baby *hell to the no* but whatever may be happening with me hope it passes soon. Pray for me.

Financially I'm almost to the point of "doing aight" but of course I'm being careful cause ish happens. I think I do pretty well maintaining with very little assistance from the fathers' of my children *patting myself on the back*. Ill continue to do all I can do to make my kids comfortable. God puts us in situations and struggles to teach us lessons he just despises when we continue to do the same dumb stuff over & over again.

I've also deactivated my Facebook account while I get me right. I have fam friends and other folks who think I'm loosing my mind and I'm not. I'm on some kind of emotional rollercoaster and I need to put a pause on my e-sharing. My real folks will understand and those who don't oh well, delete me.

I wanna thank anyone who takes the time to read my blogs and comment I really do appreciate your support.


I think ill use this space to vent for now on.