Thinking out loud "Back to Me"
I’m doing me this time around… Fantasia
I found myself….Ciara
Gotta get my heart back…Keyshia Cole
I gotta find my piece of mind…Lauryn Hill
Phrases we sometimes use when we going through break-ups breakdowns or all around heartache. We never lose ourselves we just adjust to the situation hoping it will produce a cohesive relationship full of love and happiness. I don’t believe in changing for another person at all. You have to do things that will make you better. You cannot make a change to fit some else’s perception of what you need to be.
The reason I used those several song lyrics/title to begin this blog is because those songs tell about change for love/life and the failure of prior situations that lead them to believe it was wrong to change for the other person. I believe you do have to adjust some habits in order to keep both side happy. But I also feel it has to be a mutual compromise. Few examples:
1. Your boo doesn’t like your friends because they have “pasts” -you love your friend and realize that they have changed and you can’t hold them accountable for what they did in the past but it annoys your bf/gf that you hang in their circle. It causes a rift every time you leave to go spend time with your friend and their resolution to the issue “stop hanging with the friend”. I say no just like the old saying “bros before ho’s” I think a friendship last longer than most relationships nowadays.
2. You have a ritual of clubbing 2 maybe 3 times a week but it is becoming a issue cause your other half thinks you are out cheating, flirting, or what have you. Their solution you cut out the kicking it. O_o I think that you cannot limit a person’s free time cause of your own insecurity. If your relationship is as strong as you want it nothing and no one can distract your other half from what you have. Trust is a necessary period. I wouldn’t take it as a compliment that someone doesn’t trust me. It’s not cute.
3. You have had some bad relationships and you have done the compromise thing and got handed your ass, really were done dirty. You see no compromise, the old “it’s my way or no way” and the classic “take it or leave it” -I have been in this place before and it didn’t work for me I held so much baggage from former relationships it was like a brick wall talking to me about compromise. I was carrying some hurt, embarrassment and a lot of anger for being a simp and getting taken advantage of. First you can’t place the blame on the next person but you can make him/her aware of the things you have experienced and maybe they can take in consideration that you’re healing from some things. Then again maybe it’s not the right time to start a new chapter when you haven’t got past the last one. (Think about it)
I think this blog is coming out of my nessessity to over think things. I notice new things about myself everday and the newest is that I need to get back to the basics. I don’t need a relationship right now. I wanna date, I wanna hang out, I wanna travel. I want to do things for me. I don’t wanna worry what he doesn’t like. What he is gonna say…am I too mean or bossy. I’m cool on all that shit. It’s time for me to just be happy with me. Thanks as always for reading. Enjoy Lauryn hill getting her “Piece of mind” on she is so deep to me.
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