Day 4 - I have to forgive my father

I have to forgive my father....


I'm going to make this brief cause its a big issue for me. my father wasn't there for me when i was growing up up until the age of 9 he was always gone away (he was in the Navy) my mother moved back to Cleveland when they were in the process of getting divorced. i for the life of me cannot remember one solid thing about my dad while i was growing up. smh..sad very sad.

in 1994 we reconnected with the paternal side of my family and a year later my father came to Cleveland with his new family and asked us to lunch. i didn't go i didn't think that was appropriate first meeting after all these years away. he could have had a one on one with me and my sister first. i haven't seen him at all in my adult life unless it was in pictures. i don't even think he paid child support for us as down and out as we were growing up. he has a brand new family my half brother and sister are good people. i keep in contact with them via facebook.

the reason i need to forgive him is for my own good. i don't want a relationship with him but i also don't want him to leave this world not knowing that I'm not angry with him anymore. he has a few medical issues and I'm not sure how well he cares for himself. god has a plan for that man. i have to move on with my life and realize that we may never have a relationship. i wrote a blog "Here comes the bride" expressing how i feel about him not being there.

hopefully god will have mercy on him for sucking (at least with me) at the greatest job on earth...being a responsible parent.

Day 4...My truth.

Comments

Thee_Kween said…
It's always hard when it comes to your parents. We expect, hope and need so much from them and it's hard to come into our own as adults and let go of our childhood hopes of them.

Great Truth :)
Reggie said…
I love being a father.

Forgiving your father would be in your best interests for so many reasons Angie, particularly after he's gone. I encourage YOU too reach out to him, whether he reaches back or not is on him. As bad as you feel, can you imagine the anxiety and guilt he may have fostered over the years. One simple conversation could bring him back into your life and be just as significant for you as it is for him.

It could totally change your perspective Budda.
thanks yall and Reggie i didnt reach out a few years back and he wasnt receptive he was defensive...so i backed off. he has some issues with blaming my mom for everything while i dont take sides i notice she is the one who took responsibilty and cared for her children he hasnt made a effort. im 34 and a mother and i would despise the man who abandon me with his children she doesnt she still prays for him. one day we may be able to repair things i just wont be initiating it.

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