Poppin in....

I haven't dropped into my blogger for a minute with good reason i didn't think people were interested in what i had to write so i took a step back. Crazy thing is my other blog www.dripsofbuddasluv.blogspot.com is doing numbers. This is my original blog so i feel like i should spill more over here. Not by popular demand but for the real effect i love to carry on.

Life is going okay day by day i struggle with the woes of being a single mother and trying to raise these kids to the best of my ability. Yeah people say you're not a single mother if the father is involved... to that i say bullshit. "Involved" means adding to the rearing of the children, spending time, and taking the weight off the mother's shoulders. I don't feel like the do enough but thats something they will have to deal with. My kids know i am doing my best and they starting to see the true colors of the other parents. I don't regret having there babies but i wish time could have woke them up. Oh well i'll be at both my kids high school and college graduations with the biggest smile on my face.

I count on myself alot because i dont want to add any pressure to any one else's life. I won't rehash anything my bad decisions have placed in my life. Not because I can't i just won't. i am the reason for what is ahead of me. I had the option of walking away and using better judgement. That's why today i don't think i can accommodate other people issues into things that affect my life. I have to start living for Angie. I no longer care if what i have planned for the rest of my life doesn't fit with everyone else's plan. I won't rush, settle, dumb down anything that truly reflects me for the sake of love, respect, or public opinion. For real for real fuck anyone's opinion of me....I can't be who you want me to be.

I've took on this poetry thing with my eyes wide open and I'm glad i did. I wanted to share more with you all but my mom getting sick right after the man i thought was my future broke my heart. Double whammy and then like that she was gone.... I really did shut down. My writing was and still is  at 0% i had no interest because my heart was broke. I have yet to write anything new in the last few months because truthfully it won't be authentic. I am numb. I really do feel that way. I hope that it will go away but for now I'm not forcing it. I will share what has already been created. Don't force a blocked door...i'm sure that door will open when it's ready. Until then I'll enjoy other people's work. As the Budda Flows: Unleashed will be released this year...maybe around October. Until then get your copy of my first release here www.createspace.com/3816107 it's only $5.99.

Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts today... I've procrastinated enough today. My house is a true mess my kids feel like since i had to move my mom stuff in here it looks old. I think I'll start fixing it up today. They don't understand my attachment to her stuff I don't expect them to either. Y'all have a good one. Please pray for me and mine and I will pray for yours.

Much love,

Budda