How you gonna win when you aint right within? Jokes on you

Man... *pause* some shit really be tickling the shit out of me. I guess when you are in a different head space things start getting a little clearer for you. See I learned a new word and the force behind the word makes those who don't expect it from you clutch their pearls. I tell you the word NO has showed me a different side of folks but guess what? I am done looking out, worrying about, and seeking out people.

First time i say no with good reason (your rap sheet with me) I'm just like everyone else. 

Ok the picture above signifies how I feel about a man trying to pull rank in a household he ain't even supporting. Yeah sit ya punk ass in the you got me fucked up section of the moocher stadium. I have never in my life experience it and now that it is not my situation I can see it. If you are in a relationship and you are happy and supporting the new boo then don't call me. Call on her. Ask her for help. Get all in her feelings in her text messages. I don't believe in turning my back on people but I'm turning into a different person now. I'm done chapter closed....I asked for a sign and boom.

 
I've heard it all before i got this to do, that to do...*sigh* this is why this ain't happening, and if you got me i got double for you. Get outta here people. The things that are important to your life like family, friends, career, health, and etc are things you should focus on. If your kids ain't good neither should you be. If you you can't peek in and see your elders from time to time you suck. If the only time people see you is weddings, funerals and when you need something you are losing. How do you fix your lips to say you living good when your priorities is fucked up? How you living but you sleeping from couch to couch? coochie to coochie? How can anyone respect you? Please help me understand. If I didnt see it for myself i wouldn't have believed it.

I hope I have done well by my kids at the end of the day. I struggle, sacrifice, and starve for them. I have brought things into their life within the last 3+ years i wish i could take back cause now they fstw about that person. They don't want to hear the name or see the person. I got good kids and they don't hate nobody...but that person took something away from them. Their moms attention because she was mending what was left of her and not giving them what they needed. Nobody's fault but her own and the deceiver.

I get it and I swear on my mom i get it... now the light bulb has clicked on. Had to experience some things in this life to understand just because you live right and do right doesn't clear the road for you not to run into this foolishness. I have to take this hit for once and last time. I've held my heart captive long enough....tearing up this novel and moving forward. Freeeeeeee!!