Happy New Year Budda Lover's!!
I really truly want this to be short and sweet. Welp the year of 2014 is officially over. Thank goodness. I can honestly say I grieved the majority of this year. I couldn't pull my head out the covers long enough to enjoy it. I started to get my life around July, and still fell on my face. Word to the wise, "STOP TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD, SAVE YOURSELF FIRST" I get it.
I'm good with minding my own business and getting back some of me. I miss my conversations with my mom. I could tell her all my business and accept whatever she had to say. She did not have a judgmental bone in her body. She was just honest. Hence I am too. Not to hurt but to help. Nobody is ready to lose their mother at 56...nobody. I really wanted to travel, childless with my mom. Get her what she needed and help her live comfortably. She is resting in God's embrace and I have to accept that there is nothing more I could have done for her. I'm getting there. Guilt has been my downfall in 2014. It's a process but I'm ready for it.
My children are growing up quick. My son just turned 17. He is an 11 grader (started school late) and he is starting to smell himself. I will let him..i also will tell him to beat his feet in 12 months if he doesn't get his life in gear. School is very, very important to me. I tried to get them interested in sports...they ain't feeling it. That's fine. I don't like when parents force their kids into stuff. I rather they have a skill besides football or basketball. I however cannot begin to fight with the peer pressure he is facing. I'm here but if he wanna follow the crowd...he will learn the hard way. I have a 14 little girl who suffers from being shy. She is beautiful and smart but scared to death of being laughed at and picked on. I have no idea how my babies are not confident. I tell them they are great but they have to believe in themselves. I'll keep grinding it into their brains. Repetition sometimes helps.
As you can see from my previous blog I published my second poetry on Createspace. It is available on Amazon as well on paperback and Kindle. I planned on releasing it in 2013 but life happened. I am really proud of this book. I did a lot of soul searching in regards to what I would include in this book. I got great help with my editing and the way I deliver the poems this time around. With As the Budda Flows I, I didn't really seek out any one's opinion and just did it my way. I am now republishing it with corrections. I had some great help and motivation this time. My book cover is wonderful...thanks to a fellow poet, author and graphic artist FancyFaceKreations. I'm proud of this body of work. You can grab both of them on my Amazon author page Angela's author page .
This year has brought me closer to some and away from others and it's okay with me. I have broken a lot of my own rules when it come to people. I will never appreciate anyone who uses and abuses my friendship. Anyone who makes their problems bigger than mine when I'm looking for an ear to listen. I will not deal with any one who is in constant competition with people who don't even know it. If you can't keep my secrets when I've kept yours, you are not my friend. I am just fed up with shitty people. I don't have a circle of friends. My friends always become family. I wish everyone love and happiness. I have not one bitter bone in my body. I cut people off for their safety. I hope life treats you kind and you get a clue soon. I love the people I have in my life.
I'm looking for love in 2015.... I've strayed away for long enough. I won't say what I'm looking for. God will send him my way at some point. I gotta allow my heart to defrost first and foremost.
Well I wish you good people a very happy new year and I pray you accomplish everything you set out to do. God bless!!!
with love, Budda.