I don't have it...

Sitting here thinking about some things. It's quiet in my living room. TV off, my kid watching her shows in her room. I'm lazy. My body ain't cooperative with what I want to do. I sit here picking up bills and trying to see how I can pay this and that. Keep this on and delay this getting turned off. I do realize some people don't have the same worries because A. They are well off. B. They get assistance or C. They don't have anyone to fend for but themselves. It's so difficult to always do the right thing. It's downright stressful. I have to do it though.

My issue today is when people tell you they need something, and you try to make it happen, even if your home front might take a hit. You get no reciprocation as so ever. See its folks out here who feel entitled. Used to people looking out for them. When I need something I hesitate to reach out. Not that I'm scared they gonna tell me no. It's because I feel like I'm begging. I don't beg period. Nobody has to beg me for anything. If I got it....I got it. If I don't I might try to find it but if I can't I won't. Simple as that.

It's that time of the year when people file taxes and ball out. Not me I gotta catch up on some stuff, and treat me and my kids to some things we NEED, not want. I've let money, time, and attention dwindle away lately. It's time I keep somethings to myself. In the end I want to say don't ask me for something that you won't give up yourself. I'm listening, watching, and processing all bills owed to me. I don't have it to burn.

~ Budda